This is an attempt to record and refine the agreements made by the male-identified folk at a Pagan Cluster gathering in NC several years ago (2004?).
As a male-identified member of the Pagan cluster…¶
I am aware that some behavior by male-identified Pagan Cluster members has led to female-identified Pagan Cluster members feeling their boundaries, sexual or otherwise, were not safe. Boundary violations at their worst constitute rape. Lesser boundary violations are easier to report, talk about, understand, and resolve with behavior changes, which may prevent more serious violations.
I want everyone in my community to feel safe.
Despite my best intentions, some of my behavior may unconsciously reflect:
- the violent patriarchy, white supremacy, or other oppressive values of the dominant culture
- my personal emotional path which may be informed by addiction, violence, neglect, or trauma
Although parts of it may be unconscious, I am 100% responsible for my behavior.
I ask for information about how my behavior has felt threatening, intrusive, or unsafe.
I understand that I may be receiving information from another Pagan Cluster male-identified person rather than the reporter.
I understand that I may receive incomplete information where necessary to protect the anonymity of the reporter. I would rather have incomplete information than no information.
I pledge to take any such information seriously, to educate myself as necessary, to make appropriate behavior changes, and to ask my community for help.
To the anonymous reporter of any such information: I pledge to act as if I don’t know your identity even if I think I know who you are.
To the reporter who reveals their identity:
- I pledge to honor your requests of me concerning your boundaries, for example that I not initiate contact with you, or that I ask your permission to sit next to you in the future
- I pledge not to harm you in any way, including bad-mouthing you to others, especially potential employers
I offer to hear a report and convey it to another Pagan Cluster male-identified person in accurate good faith, honoring all the above agreements especially concerning the safety and possible anonymity of the reporter.
I offer to accompany and advocate for anyone who wishes to discuss their experiences directly with another Pagan Cluster male-identified person.
